Entry 4 – Eavesdrop

1. Dip into your memory bank and write about the sounds of familiar voices. What words were spoken at your front door or in the bedroom? Arguments or tears? Be as specific as possible.

• Grandma Gash – “chip butty” or “bacon butty” or “jam butty” anyone? I remember her ever so slight Yorkshire accent that had faded over the years. Grandma lived with us from as early as I remember until we moved to Melbourne when I was 12. She died when I was 20. It was almost always a kind ear and a hug when you wanted one.
• My sister Col. We shared a room when we were kids. I remember talking in the dark about all different things. Always comforting when I am feeling like crap. Calming when I am feeling angry. Familiar when I need to hear from someone I love. I know this sounds really weird - and not strictly voice related - but my sister Col has a specific “smell” about her – it is her smell. Know how people all have their own “smell” about them? Not in a flatulent or gross way, but in a way that reminds you of them. I remember times when I was really little – about 7 or 8 - and Col was sleeping over at a friend’s house or away at something I would grab her pillow and sleep with it because it had her smell on it – it was comforting.
• There was a period in my life (when I was about 7-10 years old) that was fairly volatile in a lot of ways. I now hate any raised voices (directed at me or not), yelling or explosive anger. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable and makes me want to hide…

2. Think about the times you were truly heard. Who truly listened? How did it feel?

It is difficult to pick one specific thing really. The times I am thinking about were when I was 16 I undertook a program called “Insight”. During this week long program I honestly felt, for the first time, what it was like to have an unbiased ear. Throughout my university life I had two people who acted as a mentor for me. Alison and Helen both listened to where I wanted to go in life and provided an endless stream of advice along the way. They helped shape who I am now.

When I was 27 I paid someone to listen to me and work with me in the form of my life coach - Ruth. It is a strange process to go through, but for me personally it was a turning point. Someone who, for a couple of hours each week, listened to me and worked with me to fulfil a series of goals. How did it feel? Well it completely changed my life in every single way possible. I started to get my life on track, found a new pocket of enthusiasm for life and did things I would not have thought possible. It was truly an amazing experience and worth every single penny I spent.

3. Today I…

Worked, worked and worked some more. Heading to the gym after work for a trampoline class. I’ve put on a bit of weight over the past 3 weeks due to illness and general inactivity – got to get on top of it again… Feeling bloated, blaahhh and need to shake my booty a bit.