Entry 5 – Soft Belly

1. List what you are postponing because it is too scary, too difficult, or too painful...

I haven’t really been postponing anything lately. I have been pretty good at doing what I need to get done by the date it is due. As far as painful or difficult there isn’t really all that much. Maybe going to the dentist – I hate it. Maybe cleaning the house – I hate it.

2. List your regrets, disappointments, your most profound "If onlys..." and "I should haves."

I always promised myself that I would never have any regrets in my life. I always stood by the fact that the any decisions you make at a given point in your life is the best for you at that point – so why look back with regrets? But I have learnt a lot about myself over the past few years and I now have a healthy list of regrets.

· Not following my heart when I was 17.
· Not following my dreams when I was in my early 20’s.
· Didn’t listen to my heart in my mid 20’s.

If onlys… Well if you start talking about “if onlys” we could be here for days… I guess the big ones would be:

· If only I could lose some weight – it’s always “another 5kgs and I’ll be perfect”.
· If only I wasn’t so obsessed with my weight.
· If only I didn’t binge eat.
· If only I had more will power.
· If only I completed my Masters.

3. Choose one and pretend you have the power to change the past. How would your life be different right now?

I think you really do have to accept you past and not look back too much. I really do try to live my life with few regrets or disappointments. If I had followed my heart when I was 17 instead of thinking “there is no way he would be interested in me… he is so far out of my league” I definitely would have had a completely different life, but really… my life is pretty great and I have done some pretty interesting things, so why would I want to change it. Life takes you down many a strange path at times - go with it and it forms who you become as a person.

4. Today I…

Woke up in a really great mood. Got dressed for work, walked to the train station and realised I had left my wallet at home. While I was freaking out and basically turning my bag upside down my train arrived. I could get on the train without my wallet because I didn’t have a ticket. But just as the train driver blew his whistle that the train was leaving I found my wallet at the bottom of my bag, I jumped on the train and found a vacant seat next to a girl I work with. Got off the train, bought a banana and cinnamon smoothie for breakfast and wandered to work… I then commenced writing the content for a website for the past 4 hours.

Tonight I have Mark and my 1st year anniversary dinner at Watt restaurant – a really nice restaurant in New Farm. Tomorrow I have Casey’s 8th birthday slumber party. Sunday is Father’s Day so it is off down to the Gold Coast to spend time with Mark’s family.